"We r ead to know we are not alone" and another little victory

From the moments I first read the title quote (from CS Lewis), it has been a favorite of mine. As long as I can remember (since at least Jr High), I have been reading for information, for a way to connect with the world, and to find others who share my struggles.
Tonight, I feel like I've had another small victory. For a few weeks, I've been meaning to find time to search the web for "adhd and won't sit to eat" or some such things. Evan has always had a hard time sitting and an even harder time sitting to eat. I know that this struggle isn't unique, but at times I have definately felt that the degree to which this can be a problem IS unique, or at least atypical.
After all, what is a parent to do when they have asked their child HUNDREDS of times to use their spoon, and even tried having them leave the table when they sometimeswouldn't use their utensils instead of fingers for things like soup.
Tonight, right before dinner, I searched and found a great webpage, with tips submitted by (I'm loving this) a mom of 2 adhd kids who is a "doctor working in Child Psychiatry." (sounds like good cred. to me!)

One of the life-changing tips was:

2. If the child gets bored and fed up with eating, try

• a. Playing a story-tape on a cassette player at meal times.

• b. When he/she has eaten a little for themselves, but stops because he/she gets fed up with coping with cutlery etc, why not put a few mouthfuls on the fork for him/her? It may seem odd to be "feeding" your 8 year old - but not many of them will still be letting you feed them when they are 18! Or you could let him/her use a spoon or his/her fingers - as long as they have eaten some of the meal with "proper" cutlery first. It is important that children learn to use cutlery, even if it is hard going, or they will feel left out later. However, many children with ADHD find fiddly things like cutlery very difficult to manage - so help them to eat when they have got fed up themselves, rather than get into a battle over it.

Bingo! Solution found! I'm okay with deviating from the norm, as long as the deviation has an element of progress built in. The new program- At the beginning of each meal, we'll set the timer (we're starting with 7 minutes). That'll be "utensil time", wherein everyone will use their "best utensil manners". When the timer dings, indivduals can choose wheter to continue with the utensils. It worked like a charm tonight! Evan used beautiful (I daresay almost genteel) manners scooping up bits of rice and felafel for each bite. When the timer rang, he even chose to keep using his utensils. The best part was that we were satisfied that we were both 1) teaching appropriate manners 2)acknowleging Evan's challenges and not making them into a power struggle.

Ahhh-sweet, sweet progress! (We'll see how dinner is tomorrow!)